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I ran into a friend of mine recently and she told me that she’s had a hard year. My heart wanted to give her the deepest hug, while another part of me wondered if there was anything in her life … Continue reading
I was having a conversation with a colleague recently about the term ‘self-care.’ We both noticed that it is used quite often and in abandon, but maybe some of us still struggle with how to incorporate it into our lives. And then she told me that we in fact need to look at things that nurture us – Nurture.
I held onto that word for a bit and it really resonates with me. To do something nurturing is to feed my body and mind in a way that is both cleansing and invigorating. And more importantly, something that is nurturing also lasts for a while – be it a day, part of a day, or days and days.
Like for example, something I find nurturing is being close to water. Playing on the beach with my kids, floating in the water, feeling the warm sun on me – that nurturing moment last for at least 2 days for me. Self-care acts don’t typically last as long. Something I do for self-care is watch a funny TV show, eat some dark chocolate after a stressful day, or knit with music playing in the background.
Do you see the difference?
We definitely need self-care, but I think we need to increase ways we nurture ourselves too. We are taught that we need to be nurturing to our children – to cuddle them, hug and kiss them, to provide food and shelter, to help them fall asleep, to nurse their boo boos, you get the picture. But who reminds you to do that same for yourself as a mama?
So, what can you do to increase both your self-care acts as well as your nurturing moments? What can you commit to doing each day so that you are nurturing yourself as well? There are some simple daily rituals that can be so meaningful and life-affirming. Like, a morning shower that cleanses away the yesterdays, a quiet moment drinking a cup of tea before others are awake in your home, time outdoors admiring yours (or others) gardens.
It can also be the monthly date you have with your girlfriends, or the long bike ride you haven’t had the chance to go on in months. In our world of needing to accomplish, stay busy, and multi-task, sometimes the best thing for us is to just sit with a good book or a fun magazine AND a box of chocolates. Put your un-pedicured feet up and savour the quiet. That is a nurturing moment that reaches you deep inside and sustains us.
I read about something called the “Beauty Vitamin” and it captures how I feel about self-care so well: “Start with doing something creative you know you love. Do that. Keep doing it. Follow the beauty in your life and ingest it daily, like vitamins” (source: Creative Light Studio )
Think about consciously celebrating the small thrills. It can be the way fresh strawberries taste, seeing a child play outside, or listening to birds sing outside your window. These little moments are so easy to skip by. And yet, it can be so healing when being present with the beauty around us. Think of these moments as ‘beauty vitamins.’ In the journey of self-care, acknowledging beauty both inside and out is essential. Collecting small moments like this trains your mind to find it everywhere and it then becomes something you can draw from when skies are greyer and you need a boost.
So, take a moment today to think about what your daily rituals of self-care and nurturance can be. Write the list out and keep it handy like a grocery list. Refer to it, practice it. Brainstorm things you love to do, things you used to do, and see how you can get them back in you life, one way or another.
You deserve it.
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Have you heard of the Forth Trimester? Its the idea that women still are adjusting and growing their babies in the first 3 months after the baby is born. This can be such a challenging time – exhausting, emotional, trying. We are feeling mixed feelings of joy, loss, excitement, pain, and it can be quite taxing. The Forth Trimester works on the premise that babies today are being born too early but our bodies are not made to give birth to babies any larger.
So, we need to remind ourselves and each other that it is okay and even imperative to S L O W down after giving birth. Asking for help may be a challenge of its own, but remember that your only job as a new parent is to be present and nurturing your little one. That means to stay in bed, be skin-to-skin, rest and take care of both your needs.
Herbal teas provide a great source of wellness for you. This tea will give you some added energy to give you a boost in your day, will help cope with those low feelings that come up, and support you as you heal and recover after giving birth. Here is a great recipe that you can make ahead of time, to be ready for when your baby comes. You can find this dried herbs in most health food stores.
Mama Moon Tea
In equal parts;
– red raspberry leaf
– alfalfa
– stinging nettle
– oatstraw
– red clover
– lavendar buds
– calendula flowers
Combine in a large jar and add 1 tsp to cup of hot water. Steep for about 10 minutes. For the first 7-14 days postpartum, drink it daily, twice a day.
For more ideas about the Forth Trimester, click here to read other wonderful ideas.