I didn’t grow up religious or with a spiritual practice of any kind. I was told as a child that was because even though my parents were quite religious, they couldn’t agree what church to raise my sister and I in. That served me for years, especially as a teen who rebelled against all things religious and patriarchal.
I maybe didn’t have an overtly religious childhood, but I had a childhood infused with nature, the outdoors, and honouring various religious days. What was laid out for me was to not take nature for granted, to create ceremony for our special meals, and to trust that herbal remedies my mom made were working their magic.
I recently discovered that my ancestors on my mother’s line were oppositional to the State and wanted to align with a more village-based, natural time. Her spiritual lineage was fundamental and also devoted to a way of life that was in defiance to the industrial and political powerhouses at the time. I knew some of this information before, but as a skeptic, and also rebellious teenager, I didn’t really want to listen to her history. And that’s how it remained for years.
Fast forward to my own entry into motherhood and I felt something was missing for me. As I started to come into my own as a mother, I realized I was starting to embrace my unique offering and power as a mother – one that was soul-led and deeper. While not intentional at the time, I was able to listen to the little seed inside me that called me to programs, books, and activities that aligned with a part of me that had been forgotten about, my soul.
When I discovered a local Waldorf parent-and-tot programs, something about its gentle approach and darling handmade toys really spoke to me. It wasn’t the pedagogy that I was drawn to, but its focus on seasonal celebrations and focus on early childhood imagination. Looking back at this time now, I realize how my then-new identity of “Mother” was being formed alongside the adorable handmade toys, candles and puppets. Our talks with the Waldorf teachers highlighted for me what was aligned in my core values as a new parent, and one of them was this intentional way of honouring the seasons with ritual and a spiritual framework. We sang, honoured the turning of the wheel, and it has a subtle hint of the European ancestry that was similar to my own. And yes, its gentle approach and handmade toys really spoke to me and it filled a spot in me that had been empty.
It helped me form roots.
I appreciate the gift it gave me: By shaping my early days as a mother; someone altogether new was born inside me, and my soul was awakened with my initiation into motherhood. We now see this adjustment period of new parenthood for the messy and hormonal, change it follows, adolescence. It has a name: Matrescence; a physical, mental, psychological, sociocultural, and spiritual metamorphosis new parents go through.
As my children grew and started to establish their own roots in the world, I was able to embrace my soul’s true calling. For instance, in my family we now honour the sacred sabbaths of the Wheel of the Year, 8 holy days that honour the seasons and ancient medicines of archetypal myths and nature-based stories. It is since becoming a mother and truly accepting this role that has led me to offer ritual, ceremony and sacred practice to my family and community. This is where I own my power and full expression of myself.
As a child, I felt lost and lacking community even when surrounded by peers, neighbours and classmates. While I understand my parents’ decision to let me find my own path, I also see that they gave up a part of themselves in order to avoid conflict. This sacrifice had an impact on us all. As I am healing some of my own childhood traumas, this reclamation of a spiritual identity is a way to move through the stages of post-traumatic growth. There is power in this healing, for myself, my children, my lineage, and our future ancestors.
Looking back at my life with more clarity and wisdom now, I see the Heroine’s Journey I have been on. I had previously shamed my own mother’s attempts to guide me, and now here I am with my soul starving for this knowledge.
Maureen Murdock’s Heroine’s Journey has been a support to me in these last few years. Namely, her model of how a woman moves through life has an intentional place for a spiritual self. There is power in realizing we are not just physical beings but also have a soul that feeds and nourishes us. This is how we can more fully live a life with meaning and purpose. The origin of the word ‘psyche’ from the Greek language, and actually means soul. Like many things, we have forgotten its original intent.
As Maureen puts it, we have a quest in this time in our life: “to fully embrace their feminine nature, learning how to value themselves as women and to heal the deep wound of the feminine. It is a very important inner journey toward being a fully integrated, balanced and whole human being.” Of course, the journey is not easy and oftentimes it is without a map.
Forest for the Trees
What it does not have to be is alone. Having a name for this sea change event helps. Knowing folks who walked their own path beforehand, helps. Our path is unique to our own blueprint, but it is walked alongside everyone before and since us. That is the universal human experience. When we accept this truth, our eyes are much more open and we can reach our truest potential. The quest is the sacrifice that needs to happen as a way to pay tribute to the transformation.
Marion’s work was committed to finding a feminine voice to Jung’s message. Not necessarily a woman’s voice but one that ensures we appreciate that all humans have feminine and masculine qualities. We need to embrace this truth and not fight it. And, that means also accepting that this is done at a soul level.
Accepting our full experience as humans means we need to include our soul, and how we are connected to all beings, be it our ancestors, community, animal or plant kin. Since matrescence is not simply a stage of life in human development, it deserves a much deeper focus that includes soul work. It is only since becoming a mother that I have reclaimed an understanding of being a spiritual being, and listening to my soul’s calling is very much connected to how I mother my children, my community, therapy clients, and myself. There is power in that.
As if the entry into this new identity wasn’t foreign and life-altering enough, I also felt alone in becoming a mother as I didn’t have a community, shared worldview and guidance that is needed for any rite of passage.
Rites of passage should be a descent to the soul, and a reemergence. Dr. Aurélie Athan shares that matrescence can be a time of awakening that comes with spiritual growth as motherhood is a rebirth of your soul, a portal to come home to your Self. It is a re-awakening and remembering. It is a re-wilding and reclaiming.
Having access to other’s values and perspectives helped shape my own, and eventually get a clear understanding of how I was meant to mother. This is how I integrated my new role into the rest of me.
In my commitment as a student of feminine spirituality, I am remembering that i was born witchy. My first oracle cards called to me as a 20-year old, and that came after learning about herbal medicine and being obsessed with fairy tales, myths and teen witch stories. Ironically, i’ve become more spiritual than i ever imagined – i made a rosary out of roses after all! I know that in various human development stages, our mid-forties is meant to be a soul retrieval, a coming back home to a Soul-led life: This is our Soul’s Code.
This was all meant to be, drawn from my own seed when I was born. I am meant to be Wild and Witchy, I am becoming more spiritual, and I’m including my family and friends in these rituals and ceremonies. I am wanting to create a path for our future descendants, so I can create a legacy that is the story i want to be shared about me.
I can thank my journey as a mother for this. It has been an ongoing self-discovery, and i’ve learned that our life is a living altar. Having an intentional soul-based practice brings meaning and connection to my life. I’m so ready to embrace this more fully now that my children are older and I have more freedom and spaciousness to come back to my Self.
A big part of my own journey has been to land with both feet at this moment in time: I am responsible for birthing not only my own children, but also the version of me now that has been a dream seed for decades. I am midwifing my own spiritual seed into being.
For instance, this past weekend, i held the first in a series of seasonal self-discovery circles for women, non-binary and femme folks that are also on a soul path. It was a delicious initiation into my deepest calling, and I’m so ready to embrace this more actively. I realized that when we make a point to commit ourselves to soul work, we are also tending to our mind and body. In fact, research shows us that when we cultivate a spiritual practice, it can significantly decrease depression and at the same time offer a deeper meaning into our lives.
It also gives us the gift of soul siblings; others who are walking an aligned path to mine. This has been what i was starving for and didn’t know how to be fed. And then, i took a leap into the unknown last year and started to attend circles and retreats. And i spoke to friends who i already know, who also were deepening into their own lives.
Since matrescence is not simply a stage of life and human development, it deserves a much deeper understanding that includes soul work. It is only since becoming a mother that I have reclaimed an understanding of being a spiritual being, and listening to my soul’s calling is very much connected to how I mother my children, my community, clients as a therapist, and myself.
